Sunday, October 21, 2007

The Difference

Well, another Fall Break has come and gone, and for those unfortunate enough to have never had a Fall Break, let me tell you that it is not anything like Spring Break. You see, while Spring Break was out getting tattooed, drunk, and losing its virginity to some blond football player named Todd from Alabama in a hotel room in Cancun, Fall Break was at home in it's bedroom reading a book, drinking tea and going out at night with a couple of close friends to a coffee shop for some intensive discussion on world hunger, politics, and global warming. So really, if you're into the traditional Spring Break scene and want a fall counterpart, you're not missing much. Here's a list of the normal things associated with Spring Break, and the closest correlating Fall Break activity:

Spring Break: Picking out a hot new swimsuit for the beach.
Fall Break: Folding up your summer T-shirts and getting out those bulky sweaters your acquaintances all say look "frumpy."

Spring Break: Buying cheap plane tickets to some MTV-infested tropical getaway.
Fall Break: Buying an extra tank of gas while you head north for a day trip to check out the foliage.

Spring Break: Unbelievable parties that last until four in the morning.
Fall Break: A Star Wars, Lord of the Rings or Indiana Jones marathon that lasts until four in the morning.

Spring Break: Hooking up for wild sex with a stranger you just met at the club/beach/pool/party/standing outside your hotel room.
Fall Break: Hooking up your old Nintendo to see if you can break your old time record for Super Mario Brothers

Spring Break: Blink 182 concert (or other such band, whoever you want, it doesn't have to be Blink 182, but I need the name for the set up of the joke).
Fall Break: Blink 182 times because while you were getting the paper, the neighbor's leaf blower blew some dust in your eye.

Spring Break: Two words: Body Shots.
Fall Break: ...Body Shots. You have to have some fun on Fall Break.

Spring Break: Teachers say, "Enjoy your break, I'll see you in a week."
Fall Break: Teachers say, "Read these three chapters, write a rough draft of your next paper, and there might be a quiz on that novel you also need to finish before class on Monday."

Spring Break: Beer Showers and Vodka Baths.
Fall Break: Hot showers and chamomile baths.

Spring Break: Hot babes in swimsuits, hunky guys with their shirts off.
Fall Break: That fat guy who works at the bakery at the grocery store hits on you at the bank...whether you're a guy or a girl.

Spring Break: Number One Summer Jams make their debut.
Fall Break: Number One Summer Jams finally get replaced on the radio by...Christmas shopping ads...

Spring Break: Late night beach bonfires.
Fall Break: After collecting all the fallen branches from the backyard, you pile them into the fire pit on the patio in preparation for a bonfire, only for it to rain all day and soak the sticks through.

Spring Break: Drunk dialing all of your friends who couldn't make it to the wild trip and bragging about how great a time you're having.
Fall Break: Blogging about how Fall Break is exceedingly dull when compared to Spring Break, at least by some standards.

Spring Break: Coming home hungover, jet lagged, and not ready to face the last eight weeks of the semester.
Fall Break: No hangover, no jet lag, but still not ready to face the last eight weeks of the semester. And your homework didn't get done.

And there you have it, folks.

I hope you enjoyed this week's Blogapalooza. From the thousands of comments I got...er...hundreds...er...tens? Ones? Severals? From the comments I got, I seem to have caught people off guard with my sudden emergence from my blog cave. Well, that should just go to show that you should check my blog more often, so that you can actually see when I update. And as promised, starting tomorrow, there will be every week a Monday, Tuesday and Friday blog (I have class Wednesday and Thursday evenings) plus a monthly "Your Questions..." blog the first Saturday of every month. So keep thinking about Free Write Friday suggestions, I will call for them on Tuesdays from now on, and look for my Tuesday Excerpts, and as always...um...wear clean socks?

Until tomorrow, fair reader(s), and in the immortal words of Edward R. Murrow, Good Night and Good Luck.

3 comments:

the wife said...

I think I just realized what a, (not loser),un-cool person I am... Fall break sounds a whole lot more my style... hey at least you got all the baseboard and molding up and one bi-fold door done before your fall break was officially over ... AND we didn't even fight enough to warrant a "we are never doing this again" agreement :)

Becca said...

I'm sorry, but my spring break was never like the aforementioned either (oh that's right, I had mono during my spring break in Florida my senior year)... and we actually didn't get a fall break at the U of MN, we only had 2 days off for thanksgiving... I guess that was good enough.

On the bright side, my sister (the Doctor) emailed me today to let me know she's quitting her job (as a doctor) to be a full time stay-at-home-mom/homeschooling bible brainwasher. Yayyyyy....

p.s. That last comment should be read in an increasingly sarcastic tone.

Annie said...

Very nice!
However:
Spring Break: Anticipatory celebration of the upcoming months of nothingness.
Fall Break: Memorial service for that life you developed in the summer and will no longer see a sign of until Spring Break.

Though, I should say I always prefered Fall break to Spring break for some reason. I have no doubt it was my desire to hunt colorful, dying foliage.