Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Never Mind That Blogapaloza List

No video blog, I just didn't have the time. Let me instead tell you about my softball team.

Know Skills is our name, and we are terrible. In our inaugural season, we achieved a record of 1-9, with two shut-outs and seven losses by more than fifteen runs. This season, we have fared littled better. We've got a record right now of 1-8, with one more game left. Granted, we have only been shut out once.

Last Sunday, I took a ground ball off my right middle finger. Basically, I was going for the ball and it took two nasty hops; one on to my middle finger and the other off of my middle finger. At least the runner held at first, that was nice of him. But I hadn't yet been up to the plate, and two outs later when it was our turn to bat, I was first up. Now, I've had a pretty good season at the plate. I'm batting at least .500 (fairly easy in a rec league, I know, but when the team's average is something like .230, that makes me an all-star of sorts). In fact, in recent weeks, I've had an amazing run at the plate; the game before my middle finger injury, I went three for three with two RBIs, two singles and a double. Of course, we still lost. But it was a great game. So I stepped up to the plate this time, blood trickling out from under my fingernail (which is, now, all black at the top), and the first pitch is beautiful. That is my pitch. So I swing, and I'm way out in front of it and I know it, and I'm also subconsciously not holding the bat very well with my right hand because of the injury...and the ball trickles itself foul down the third base line. So I get back up to the plate, my finger is throbbing...and I hit it again, and again, it trickles down the third base line. But this time, it stays fair and I just freaking fly down the line to first. And somehow, I beat the throw. So my batting average doesn't take a hit (no pun intended), but the team remains the worst team in the league.

With that having been established, my boss, who put together the team, is finished and has declared the team as disbanded at the end of this season. But, the way I see it, maybe instead, we should find new owners and relocate. Like the Expos did. So, who wants to buy my softball team? We'll even switch leagues. Get us some new management, maybe a little talent from the minors, and we're ready for the championship! What do you think?

3 comments:

Lisa said...

You're funny. If I had the time and/or money, I'd consider it. ;)

Christopher G said...

So who was the poor team that you defeated for your only win in each of the last two seasons? If I were to buy your team, I'd want that team to stay in your league so we don't suffer the ultimate embarrassment of a winless season.

notawritersfather said...

Thats what I like to see: A guy playin' hurt. Now tell your boss to quit bitchin' and trade for some pitchin' in the off season.
Peace Out!